The Complete Guide to Oral Sex

oral sex sex tips

Oral sex is one of the most-asked-about topics in intimacy. This guide brings our articles together so you can learn techniques, understand anatomy and feel more confident.

What makes oral sex great

Oral sex is one of the most reliable routes to pleasure for people of every gender. For many women it is the easiest way to orgasm: in a large US study (Frederick and colleagues, 2018) women who received more oral sex were significantly more likely to orgasm regularly. Yet it is also an area where people feel unsure, worry about technique or feel self-conscious about their bodies. The good news is that great oral sex comes down to a few learnable principles.

The five principles that apply to everyone

Start slowly. Kiss and touch the surrounding areas first. Anticipation builds arousal.
Use the whole mouth and your hands. Lips, a relaxed tongue and hands together create far more sensation than the tongue alone.
Find a rhythm and keep it. When your partner responds strongly, stay with the same movement, speed and pressure.
Read the feedback. Breathing, sounds and movement tell you what works. Ask, too.
Make it comfortable. Pillows, good positions and pauses keep both of you relaxed.

Not sure where to start? Take the free 2-minute Pleasure Quiz and get lessons matched to your goal.

Giving oral sex to a woman: the essentials

Focus on the clitoris, but approach it gradually and indirectly at first. Broad, soft licks over the whole vulva, then circles and gentle strokes around the clitoral hood, work for most women. Many need 15 minutes or more of consistent stimulation.

Giving oral sex to a man: the essentials

The head and the frenulum, on the underside where the head meets the shaft, are the most sensitive areas. Combine your mouth with your hand around the shaft, keep your lips soft, and vary speed and pressure. Lube or saliva makes everything smoother.

Health and safety

Oral sex can transmit sexually transmitted infections, including herpes, gonorrhoea, chlamydia, syphilis and HPV. Condoms and dental dams reduce the risk, and regular testing is a good habit with new partners. The articles below cover each topic in depth.

Techniques and confidence

How to Give Better Oral Sex: A Tasteful, Practical Guide: a tasteful, practical guide for any partner.
Discovering the Pleasures of Blowjobs: How to Maximize Oral Sexual Experiences: techniques, pace and communication.
How To Find Erogenous Zones On A Penis?: the most sensitive areas and how to touch them.

For women who love women

Practical Tips for a Positive First-Time Lesbian Sex: communication, pace and safer sex.

Safety

Some STIs can be passed through oral sex. Condoms, dental dams and regular testing reduce the risk.

How To Use a Condom To Avoid Pregnancy and STDs?: how to use condoms correctly.
Sex Etiquette Tips Every Person Should Follow: hygiene and good manners in bed.

Frequently asked questions

Is oral sex safe?
It is lower risk than many other kinds of sex but can still pass on STIs. Condoms and dental dams reduce the risk, and regular testing helps.

How can I get better at oral sex?
Go slowly, use your hands as well as your mouth, keep a steady rhythm when your partner responds, and ask for feedback.

Why do many women orgasm more easily from oral sex?
Because oral sex gives direct, consistent stimulation to the clitoris, which is the main source of orgasm for most women.